I Guess I'll Never Know

"I Guess I’ll Never Know" is a song that hits especially close to home with me. I wrote this song in the 8th grade when I was completely smitten over a girl, but I knew that because we were going to different high schools, we would never be a couple. I felt like I had blown my big chance, and I wrote about it. The words came more naturally than any song I had ever written. The words aren’t outstandingly poetic, but they are honest. I’m glad I wrote them.

(Written in June 2004)

Love is a funny thing.
It has to work both ways.
There's a chance she'll never love you,
But there’s a chance she may.

But the fear of rejection
is branded in your mind.
If you get to close,
You don’t know what you’ll find.

I let her get away,
and I've no one else to blame.
I could never say a word to her,
Couldn’t even say her name.

And now she’s gone,
And I don’t know what might have happened.
I guess I’ll never know.

Did she ever love me?
Might it have worked out?
Should all this speculation
Be what love is all about?

These are the questions
that I ask every day.
If I took the time to try,
Would she have seen it my way?

Have I reached an end
that could have been a start?
All this crazy wondering
had nearly broke my heart.'

But for all I know,
The truth might have been more painful.
I guess I’ll never know.

I guess I have to move on,
And stop living in the past.
If it never even started,
It probably wouldn’t last.

That doesn’t make it easier
to let go of a love.
I question my sensibility,
Don't know what I'm thinking of.

They say “Just give it time.”
If only I knew how.
'Cause all the time in the world
will never help me now.

What did I do?
Where did I go wrong?
I guess I’ll never know.

I guess I’ll never know.

I’ll just never know.